I had a rough couple of days at work last week. Mostly because I let a certain coworker get in my head too much.
She’s a know-it-all. A bean-counter. Someone who really likes being in control of everything and everyone and asserts her opinion as though it’s fact.
That bothers me. Especially when she tries to do my job when I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.
After a conversation with a sympathetic coworker, my supportive supervisor, and then another with Ben, it became clear that this woman is gaining too much ground in my mental landscape.
I decided to pick up a book that might encourage me to care less about the petty peons that tend to run the world of office work in which I am mired from day to day.
So I indulged myself by reading Sarah Knight’s The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do.
It was a fun, quick read. The title is of course a play on Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. But Sarah Knight had the luxury of being able to leave a soul-sucking job after tidying her sock drawer and so she wrote a book from that point of view.
The book is largely about setting boundaries. It doesn’t dig too deep. It uses the word “fuck” too much. I’m not offended by it–just annoyed when an author depends on a swear word as a gimmick instead of writing a more readable book with better and more descriptive words.
There are some good witticisms. And I found that Knight is as jaded about the world of work as I am, which was fun and reassuring. Here’s a good quote on the uselessness of meetings that you might enjoy:
But there are meetings you do not have to agree to attend in the first place. For example, say a colleague from another part of the company—the Chicago office, perhaps, if you work in San Diego—is coming to town.
Some executive assistant is “setting up meetings” wherein this colleague wanders around making the same small talk about the weather and delivering vague commentary on the state of the business in half-hour increments with everyone on your floor. There are eight meeting slots, says the executive assistant. Which one do you want?
Answer: None of them. You can just say “None of those times work for me” and continue on with your day. I know, you’re worried you’ll get in trouble, and your desire to stay on your boss’s good side overrides your desire not to take this meeting. But if you’re a competent employee and you know it’s a pointless use of a half hour, your boss knows that too. Decide you don’t give a fuck. Let someone else take one for the team. There are plenty of unenlightened coworkers who will march toward those slots like blindfolded prisoners to a firing squad. It doesn’t have to be you!
Knight also recommends an exercise in which you list all the things you feel like you’re supposed to care about and then decide which you no longer want to give your energy (or “fucks”) to. From large to small, you list the things which annoy you and decide to not give a fuck about them anymore.
That exercise is so useful that I realized I’d actually already done it. So, without further comment on Knight’s book, I present to you:
The Things I No Longer Give a F*ck About Circa 2017
- Professional football (in fact, most professional sports except baseball. I will always have a soft spot for baseball.)
- The Kardashians
- Anything Kanye is doing; seriously, stop making these assholes famous
- Boards and committees (unless I care deeply about your cause, hard pass)
- Emails from vendors at work
- Video games that are not Mario related
- Multi-level Marketing companies (MLMs a.k.a. direct sales)
- Understanding how toilets work (I can pay someone good money to deal with that); ditto the furnace and air conditioner
- Religion (it is a social construct)
- Mommy bloggers
- Rap written after 1999
- That dream you had and want to tell me about
- Community theater (unless someone I love dearly is in it, in which case you are also going and will pretend to love it and shut up about it, just pre-game like the rest of us.)
- Spoken word poetry/poetry jams
- Pretending to like good wine
- Pretending to like good beer
- Hipster food in general–Aioli is for fish soup at a Mediterranean café. I will have regular ketchup on my burger like an American, please, because we are in Indiana.
- Family drama (I am turning 40 this year. Enough already.)
- People who only want to talk about themselves
- People who talk over me
- People who talk too much
- People who explain things to me when I know more about those things than they do. Bye.
- The feelings of rude people
- Learning to drive stick shift
- Books by politicians (this is not literature, guys; wise up)
- Books by celebrities (same)
- White papers (don’t write ’em; don’t read ’em)
- Having a nice lawn
- Sky diving
- Other people’s vacation pictures
Anyway, I highly recommend making a list like this if you haven’t. It’s cathartic to get that stuff off your chest. And you could always follow it up with a list of things you DO give a fuck about, which I have done and will post for those that care.
Love to all and happy reading!